Weekly Column – Sari Hyytinen

Australia’s King of Comedy Sean Choolburra will be performing at the Tully Tigers Rugby League Presentation on the Saturday the 18th of September at the Tigers Leagues Club.

I have been told by some important members of the galaxy, Jedi Knights, Marvel heroes, and Aquaman,   that I should be more lenient about bagging teams in the NRL universe. So, just for this week’s edition, I will not be changing any of my initial ideas when it comes to bagging teams but be more ruthless in my assessment. 

First off on Uncle Shane’s hit list are the useless North Queensland Cowboys (change my mind)! This team has now lost nine games in a row, yes, nine games in a row. For all the long-suffering Cowgirls supporters, I’ve dated super models longer than this, and they were movie stars from the hit 90s TV show Melrose Place, this season is one they would rather forget. It’s a cruel world in the NRL, where one week everyone wants to be your friend, and the next you are receiving coupons for dinner that night. The fans and critics can be your friend, or your favourite fall guy. I mean, look at me! Who gave me the right to be this talented and critical when it comes to writing such good sports material, not Rupert Murdoch, that’s for sure! 

The Parramatta Eels and the Canberra Raiders have been more disappointing than the Brady Bunch remake that tricked me a few years ago. Greg does not look anywhere near as good as he did, and Marsha seems to still get on my nerves. The Newcastle Knights should just go into the night and never be seen again in 2021, and the Gold Coast Titans should be called the Old Coast Titans because they look like the team that they used to be, useless. 

The once mighty Canterbury Bulldogs would not look out of place in an Under 7s marble competition, such is their form of embarrassment. Don’t worry, I have reserved the Broncos for my last serve. Please Brisbane, for the love of me, if you don’t finish like a credible NRL team in the next few weeks, I will be forced to watch and support my new team, the Bryant Street Hounds. These guys know how to get it done and never let anyone down on bin days when they come out the night before and knock over all the bins for their and everyone’s pure entertainment, even though we don’t find it funny. So, boys, get your act together, or I will be wearing a Street Hounds jersey in no time at all.

Imagine my surprise this week when I was contacted by the ever more charismatic and charming

 of course, Mr Leith Paton of Tully State High School, who just recently returned from a Calvin Klein Model shoot in France. Enough about his private life, and his boyish good looks, I do not know Mr Paton personally, but I can vouch from one of his students, who I have coached over the years, that the dude is an all-round good guy. It seems that, against all odds, and me becoming a vegan, someone other than my fan club who consist of Anthony Emmi, Adrian Duro, and the good-looking chick at the servo, read my article last week regarding the naming of the MVP medal after my good mate, Andrew Cripps, for the senior versus junior match later this year at the high school. It is such a deserving honour for Andrew, and when he contacted me to say he accepted the tribute, I knew the right thing had been done. The main dude I wanted to thank in all of this is Mr Leith Paton, who by your generosity has allowed a past student to be recognised for an overdue accolade for planting the seed of School Rugby League many moons ago. Thank you, Mr Paton, I will be in attendance to cover the game, so have my footy boots ready.

Don’t forget to get your tickets for the Tully Rugby League Presentation Night on September 18, as it has been confirmed that Australian renowned comedian celebrity, Sean Choolburra, will be performing on the night for the hundreds of fans who have already booked their seats. There is also the other celebrity who will be emceeing the evening and who is equally as funny if not better looking, but we will save that argument for another time. Be sure to book your ticket through the Club’s contacts of Nadine O’Farrell, Caroline Chadwick, or President Anthony Emmi. 

On a lighter note, I just wanted to let the Tully Postie guy riding the motorbike everyday delivering our mail, Alex Sala, thank you bro, your work is much appreciated. You may get some rubbish comments but keep your head up because there are lot more people in our community who just love you for the great job you do for our district. The Postie, always delivering.

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